Site search

April 2014
S M T W T F S
« Mar    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  

Site menu:

Blogroll

Random Quotes

“I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.”
by Fran Lebowitz

Recent Comments

Categories

Archives

Flickr Photos

Caterpillar Phacelia?

Blue-Eyed Grass

Witch's Hair

Yucca Bells

Mexican Pink or Cardinal Catchfly

Prickly Phlox?

More Photos

Meta

Archive for 'Mania'

Colors

“There are certain difficult things that I need to do,” I told my therapist, “but I can’t do them now because I would enjoy them just too much.”

PTSD and Bipolar: Vampires in the Warehouse

“You’re controlling me,” he shot back. “I’m the facilitator of this group,” I replied. “I’m supposed to do that.”

Guilt vs. Shame: Torture vs. Tool

I don’t think the answer is feeling guilty but part of my recovery has been to feel a proper amount of shame for the demonic releases that I perpetrated while I was high on my illness.

Gun Addiction

Alex Jones and others like him require some time in rehab.

Accountability and Loss of Memory

I’ve seen many people in bipolar support groups counsel the newly diagnosed not to feel shame for things they did while they were in episode: it was the disease that did it, not them is the reasoning. This cleaving of the self, I think, does not help us get a handle on the illness and […]

Depression Finds References Everywhere

Sorry for my absence. I got word a few weeks ago that my mother had a glioblastoma growing in her head and had only a few weeks to live. Since then, I have been swinging from depression to mania and back again, with a day or two here and there where I feel neither condition. […]

Odd Logic by the Anti-Medication Crowd

The anti-medication crowd among us bipolars sounds off in a strident voice. Medications, they tell us, are little more than an attempt by the pharmaceuticals industry to enslave us. According to them, psychotropics kill us and prevent us from experiencing the full impact of our glorious emotions1 . Psychiatrists are predators who don’t know how […]

The Scary Guy Defense

A friend of mine who is a mental health professional in Germany and I often watch a certain social media site for signs of distress among the denizens. Recently, I dropped her a note about one fellow who struck me as being on the proverbial roller coaster. She shuddered when she checked him out and […]

Arguing with the God Within

For the depressed and the anxious, the silence of God is a scream.

Walking the Flat Track

Guilt is the mainstay of some of us who struggle with bipolar disorder. I saw my mind disintegrate during the nineties.

Vitamin D and the Cold Blue Funks

My endocrinologist tapped a few keys and brought up my latest bloodwork. She pursed her lips as she scanned the numbers. My triglycerides were too high, so she upped my Lipofen. Everything else was within proper balances. Except at the bottom of her study: my Vitamin D levels were excruciatingly low. I asked her what […]

Jammed Lens and its Aftermath

Last week had its difficulties. I dropped my new camera on the Harding Trail and jammed the zoom lens. The ring allowing me to move between focal lengths wouldn’t turn below 35mm. The autofocus motor whined without acting. Upper Modjeska Canyon heard my yells of frustration. In my solitude, I shouted at uncomfortable memories, the […]