Archive for 'Bipolar Disorder'
What does one do in an America of violence, alienation, and stigma?
I seem to accrue more and more diagnoses to cover my symptoms.
I count my deaths. The times when I fell down and hit my head or hit it on the top of a door frame (a hazard of being six foot six and a half inches). The time when I ran a red light and nobody hit me. The time I put on the brakes in […]
“There are certain difficult things that I need to do,” I told my therapist, “but I can’t do them now because I would enjoy them just too much.”
“You’re controlling me,” he shot back. “I’m the facilitator of this group,” I replied. “I’m supposed to do that.”
I’ve been thinking less about what it means to live with bipolar disorder and more about what it means to be human. But I have not yet stopped looking at what is wrong with me — damn those memories that strobe in my brain at the slightest trigger — and moved on to being the […]
People talk about being shocked by the diagnosis: The diagnosis did not throw me for a whirl — all the confusion stemmed from the sense of being different but not knowing how. When the hospital psychiatrist looked at me across the table and asked me if anyone had ever suggested to me that I was […]
I constantly question the whirlwind. There must be an answer. And that takes over the mind.
The mind is not only its own place, but its own population.
Mistakes like this cause me to enter a highly vigilant state of mind.
Humility is neither blind optimism or blinding pessimism.
I don’t think the answer is feeling guilty but part of my recovery has been to feel a proper amount of shame for the demonic releases that I perpetrated while I was high on my illness.