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Category Archives: Depression

The Sickness of May and June

Posted on May 4, 2015 in Body Language Depression

Curses on the May Disorder. Curses on June Gloom. Sixty days before it passes. Sixty not quite miserable, annoying days.

Accountability and the Grim Facts of Depression

Posted on April 22, 2015 in Anxiety Attitudes Compassion Depression Guilt

The black spiral literally knocked me off my feet. I decided on my own to stop taking Geodon — a horrible drug that left me dizzy for all but the last three to four hours of my waking day — and I crashed and crashed hard. My bedroom was my habitation; my cats my constant […]

Facets

Posted on April 17, 2015 in Depression Mania Memory Reflections Stigma

What could they have said to a raging bullshit artist?

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Can You Talk Someone Out of a Depression?

Posted on April 11, 2015 in Depression Therapy

You are dealing with an irrational disease not a philosophical system.

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Andreas Lubitz: Depressive or Evil Genius?

Posted on March 31, 2015 in Depression Stigma

Was Lubitz an evil genius? I take exception to the conclusion that his actions were in any way “malicious”.

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Another Hockey Mask: Andreas Lubitz

Posted on March 27, 2015 in Depression Stigma Suicide

*TRIGGER WARNING* I must tell the truth here: I do not understand what Andreas Lubitz did. In my suicidal fugues, I thought of many ways that I might kill myself that involved others such as throwing myself in front of a truck or crashing my car into a tree or driving it off a cliff, […]

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Another Day of Feeling Bad

Posted on March 13, 2015 in Agitation Body Language Depression Weather

It’s the damn wind again, a Santa Ana blowing off the mountain and against my door. Combined with the heat, it gives me a headache and a stiff feeling all over my body. Plus I have been sneezing. At first I mistook this for a depression. Friends counseled me to seek out some sunlight. As […]

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How Positive Thinking Poisons Bipolar Disorder

Posted on February 10, 2015 in Compassion Depression Ettiquette Stigma

When you are depressed, society forces you to lie.

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The Brain is a Dark Country

Posted on November 28, 2012 in Depression Disappointment

The brain is a dark country. I travel there alone, lurching over its high roads and through its scourging vales. I believe that what happens to us is only a small part of our moods. The rest is a geology set down when we were in the womb, shaped by the fidgetings of life. At […]

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Depression Finds References Everywhere

Posted on November 23, 2011 in Bipolar Disorder Depression Grief Mania

Sorry for my absence. I got word a few weeks ago that my mother had a [[glioblastoma]] growing in her head and had only a few weeks to live. Since then, I have been swinging from depression to mania and back again, with a day or two here and there where I feel neither condition. […]

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The Talent of Depression

Posted on July 9, 2011 in Depression

I’m surrounded by people who tell me that everyone has a talent. Years of aptitude testing followed by generous explorations into various careers and skills have led me to the conclusion that my special genius is for being depressed about 10% to 90% of the day, depending on whether I have taken my medications, exercised, […]

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The Soul as Hamburger Meat

Posted on June 11, 2011 in Depression Loneliness

Imagine a soft, gray rock domed and striated like a hamburger bun. No life here, you think, then you notice the blue gray beady eyes blink. It opens its maw and takes you in, chewing toothlessly on your chest. Paralysis prevents you from crying. Oh save my soul, oh save my soul, oh save my […]

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