Curses on the May Disorder. Curses on June Gloom. Sixty days before it passes. Sixty not quite miserable, annoying days.
The black spiral literally knocked me off my feet. I decided on my own to stop taking Geodon — a horrible drug that left me dizzy for all but the last three to four hours of my waking day — and I crashed and crashed hard. My bedroom was my habitation; my cats my constant […]
What could they have said to a raging bullshit artist?
You are dealing with an irrational disease not a philosophical system.
Was Lubitz an evil genius? I take exception to the conclusion that his actions were in any way “malicious”.
*TRIGGER WARNING* I must tell the truth here: I do not understand what Andreas Lubitz did. In my suicidal fugues, I thought of many ways that I might kill myself that involved others such as throwing myself in front of a truck or crashing my car into a tree or driving it off a cliff, […]
It’s the damn wind again, a Santa Ana blowing off the mountain and against my door. Combined with the heat, it gives me a headache and a stiff feeling all over my body. Plus I have been sneezing. At first I mistook this for a depression. Friends counseled me to seek out some sunlight. As […]
When you are depressed, society forces you to lie.
The brain is a dark country. I travel there alone, lurching over its high roads and through its scourging vales. I believe that what happens to us is only a small part of our moods. The rest is a geology set down when we were in the womb, shaped by the fidgetings of life. At […]
Sorry for my absence. I got word a few weeks ago that my mother had a [[glioblastoma]] growing in her head and had only a few weeks to live. Since then, I have been swinging from depression to mania and back again, with a day or two here and there where I feel neither condition. […]
I’m surrounded by people who tell me that everyone has a talent. Years of aptitude testing followed by generous explorations into various careers and skills have led me to the conclusion that my special genius is for being depressed about 10% to 90% of the day, depending on whether I have taken my medications, exercised, […]
Imagine a soft, gray rock domed and striated like a hamburger bun. No life here, you think, then you notice the blue gray beady eyes blink. It opens its maw and takes you in, chewing toothlessly on your chest. Paralysis prevents you from crying. Oh save my soul, oh save my soul, oh save my […]