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Archive for 'Anxiety'

Bipolar Cancer Husband No. 2

I must confess that I still feel a little selfish when I remind people that I am under stress — perhaps more stress than Lynn.

Bipolar Cancer Husband No. 1

I’ve been trying to write this story for months, but the time and the motivation have not been there. Two things tipped me off that something was wrong. First, I looked at my cell phone and realized that too much time had passed. Dr. Rettenmaier had promised a quick surgery — twenty five minutes — [...]

Whines of 2012 — Updated 12/17/2012

UPDATED: 9 September 2012 Let me count the ways the events of the past few months have screwed me. Note that there may will be additions as the weeks pass…so keep checking this article. It will be a mega-whine! First, my mother dies of a glioblastoma — brain cancer — the same disease that killed [...]

Cancer Threat

The Universe appears to have taken on the role of the Mafia in my life. Instead of striking me directly, it has gone after the one I love.

Bemusement Parks and Drama Queens

Twitter has been delivering me to a state not unlike a dead whale on the beach, roasting in the sun. This is my own fault. I “have” to keep checking it to see what the news is. Then I get into arguments about just what the role of the president of the United States is [...]

Notes on the 2011 DBSA National Conference Part 1

The first big secret divulged to me and a select group of others was that the rumor that Peter Ashenden had been fired by DBSA after embezzling most of its assets1 was not true.2 DBSA had worked itself into the red due to optimistic budgeting based on the assumption that the pharmaceuticals industry would continue [...]

Mindful Moment

Hands open, palms upward as I call the paradise within to mind. Oh that it were tangible, real!

Amygdala in Overdrive

My amygdala has been in overdrive. Every morning between 7 and 7:30, I wake up with my breastbone trying to break out of my chest. My thoughts immediately turn to politics and the Tea Party. I don’t think this is paranoia because I don’t look out my window to see if John Boehner and Eric [...]

A Quick Text Message for My Bipolar Disorder

Got the message u sent by killing my sleep Is this ur depression talking? Or r u hypomanic, playing secret agent games? Rembr: News mks u anxious This post is in response to Day 7 of the Health Activist Writers Challenge: “Leave your condition a text or voice mail.”

A Mobile Doubt

I am afflicted by what can be termed as a mobile doubt.

Jammed Lens and its Aftermath

Last week had its difficulties. I dropped my new camera on the Harding Trail and jammed the zoom lens. The ring allowing me to move between focal lengths wouldn’t turn below 35mm. The autofocus motor whined without acting. Upper Modjeska Canyon heard my yells of frustration. In my solitude, I shouted at uncomfortable memories, the [...]

Flaming Fog and a Red Sports Car

Yesterday was as momentous as being wedged against a smooth, unshatterable pane of glass: forever in the sight of the world but engaging with none of it. Went out to find the stars using Google Sky Map. For the second night in a row, however, a crazy, burning thatch-roof of orange-tinted fog prevented me from [...]