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Category Archives: Anxiety

The struggle to not be afraid.

Lost And Desperate

Posted on May 7, 2015 in Anxiety Paranoia & Delusions

Where had it gone? Where could I have transported it to?

Helicopter Caretaking

Posted on April 27, 2015 in Anxiety Mental Illness Suicide

We patients are told not to think of ourselves as the disease, but helicopter caretakers get no such warning.

Accountability and the Grim Facts of Depression

Posted on April 22, 2015 in Anxiety Attitudes Compassion Depression Guilt

The black spiral literally knocked me off my feet. I decided on my own to stop taking Geodon — a horrible drug that left me dizzy for all but the last three to four hours of my waking day — and I crashed and crashed hard. My bedroom was my habitation; my cats my constant […]


Why I Left the abUSEnet: A Bipolar Journey Through the Madness of Crowds

Posted on April 7, 2015 in Agitation Anxiety Hatred Humiliation Mania Netiots USEnet

I realized my cause was so hopeless that not even St. Jude could fix it even if I visited a church in his name every day for a hundred years.


On Crippling Self-Indictment

Posted on March 3, 2015 in Anger Anxiety Avoidance Frustration Mean People

I am thrall to this stupid, American insistence on balance, on not taking sides.


Questioning the Whirlwind

Posted on December 1, 2013 in Anxiety Bipolar Disorder Frustration

I constantly question the whirlwind. There must be an answer. And that takes over the mind.



Posted on November 9, 2013 in Anxiety Bipolar Disorder Frustration PTSD

The mind is not only its own place, but its own population.


Typing Errors

Posted on September 3, 2013 in Anxiety Attitudes Bipolar Disorder Fear Reflections

Mistakes like this cause me to enter a highly vigilant state of mind.


Bipolar Cancer Husband No. 2

Posted on June 26, 2012 in Anxiety Cancer Diary Cats Dogs Uncertainty

I must confess that I still feel a little selfish when I remind people that I am under stress — perhaps more stress than Lynn.


Bipolar Cancer Husband No. 1

Posted on June 14, 2012 in Anxiety Cancer Diary

I’ve been trying to write this story for months, but the time and the motivation have not been there. Two things tipped me off that something was wrong. First, I looked at my cell phone and realized that too much time had passed. Dr. Rettenmaier had promised a quick surgery — twenty five minutes — […]


Whines of 2012 — Updated 12/17/2012

Posted on April 24, 2012 in Anxiety Dentition Dogs Health OCD Spirituality and Being Whines

UPDATED: 9 September 2012 Let me count the ways the events of the past few months have screwed me. Note that there may will be additions as the weeks pass…so keep checking this article. It will be a mega-whine! First, my mother dies of a glioblastoma — brain cancer — the same disease that killed […]


Cancer Threat

Posted on March 3, 2012 in Anxiety Health Whines

The Universe appears to have taken on the role of the Mafia in my life. Instead of striking me directly, it has gone after the one I love.

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