Never Asked Questions
Nobody asks me anything around here, so I drew up a list of questions that people might ask just to kill a little time and keep people from Twitter who heard me musing over the idea from implementing it first.
I will add more questions as they occur to me. If you want me to answer a question, please don’t ask it here. Once you do, it will have been asked and therefore I can’t answer here, can I1 ?
- Why is this blog called “Pax Nortona”?
- I wrote an article about Joshua Norton who styled himself “Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico”. Friends began calling me that because of my beard, so I used it first as a chatroom name and then, in parody of the famous Pax Romana, I contrived the name of this blog. I am no relation to the Emperor except in spirit and mental affliction — he was likely bipolar like I am.
- What is a blunderbuss?
- A blunderbuss is an old-fashioned form of firearm, basically a portable cannon into which one could stuff bits of metal, stone, and whatever else one happened to have. It was similar to a shotgun except you loaded it from the muzzle and used whatever was handy for shot.
- Where is the “Land of the Lost Blunderbuss”?
- In 1769, the Portola Expedition was moving south to north through what is now California. At a camp near the modern cities of Rancho Santa Margarita and Mission Viejo, some of his men were goofing off in what is now called Trabuco (Spanish for “blunderbuss”) Creek. Some fool lost track of blunderbuss. Subsequent searches never turned up the instrument of war, so the spot was named Trabuco Canyon in honor of the missing gun.
- Why do you suck?
- Truthfully, I do get asked this by adolescent commentators from time to time. My response is “Why don’t you have more of a life than to go around to blogs trolling?” As the Celtic bards used to say “Simple that.”
- Are you dangerous?
- I keep wishing that someone would ask me this one, but they never do. But the answer is that even without meds, I have not been violent to the point of injury to others. Self is another matter, but I expect that you were concerned mostly about yourself you self-centered bastard, you. I am now on a constellation of meds which calms my moods and keeps me from seeing the mark of the beast on your forehead with the annotation “Kill him before he brings on the Apocalpyse.” In all fairness I never did have such delusions or hallucinations, but I decided to go for a bit of dramatic effect here.
- Why are so many bipolar sufferers Democrats?
- First, we got on meds. The scales fell from our eyes and we saw the world as it was. Second, many of us got on disability and discovered how cruel and heartless the world engendered by the Republicans is. Third, bipolar disorder ~is~ associated with higher intelligence. Enough said.
- What do you mean by…
- This does get asked from time to time and I find it annoying and aggressive. I write what I mean. If you have to ask this question, it means that you are either not working hard to engage me or are trying to psychoanalyze me. If this doesn’t end the sophistry, then I expect you to answer this question: What do you mean by “meaning”. Complete answers only. Expect further questions.
- OK, so I cheated. But it’s my blog and I can do as I want! [↩]