September 15, 2002
Life, Questions, Everything 9/12/02

Life, Questions, Everything

9/12/02

is there a point
a point at all
to anything we do?
we do so much
we try so hard
is there any point at all?
why bother to learn?
to better ourselves??
for what?
what the fuck for?
I wonder often
I cant stop asking
what is the point?
I just dont get it
spend 30 years give or take a few
learning in schools 
spend some of that
and most of the next 50
working your ass to death
is thhere a point to this maddness?
is there a point to this life?
can anyone tell me?
why do I hate me so much?
why everything seems so hopeless
I see so much
I see so different
yet knowing this helps not
so what do i do?
where do I go?
when allI can do
is sit here hurting so
I hurt in ways many cant fathom
I yearn for the release I promised away
why am I so stupid??
why am I forced to live this way?
what is wrong with my mind?
I ask and i ask
yet I recieve no answers
are there answers?
I dont know
yet I am slowly losing hope
I feel I will never find them
I am a lost cause
I am a hopeless case
pay no attention to me
I am full of questions
you need not answer
I matter not
my questions matter not
simply leave me be
alone in my misery
go on with your life
while you question it not
as i dwell in mine
questioning its worth 
Posted by Becca at September 15, 2002 02:41 PM
Comments

Hello Becca,

My name is Robin. I am a 56 year old guy who makes videos for organizations that want to help people. I am part of a small company. We have been hired to make a video for teenagers about depression. At the beginning of the video we want to have some quotes from teenagers who are depressed. Your writing is very powerful, it speaks from your heart about your confusion and depression. I feel strongly that other teenagers can be helped by your words because they will realize they are not alone in their pain. I would very much like your permission to use a few of your sentences. Please write me. I am happy to give you more details about this video.

Posted by: robin on January 6, 2003 08:12 AM

"Where there is hope there is life. You're never defeated, you're never beaten down as long as you have hope."

Posted by: Kathy on March 4, 2003 07:46 PM

Hi again Becca,
The point of life? To create, to enjoy, to pass on creations to others.
Why am I so hopeless? Because depression, a state often caused by a heriditary biochemical imbalance, causes you to feel this way. It also reduces your self-esteem, and has you constantly putting yourself down. The state you describe above sounds alarmingly like clinical depression. I've been there, lots. It is serious. You need to get help. I suggest dumping whatever doctor you're seeing, as the previous post I read from you a year earlier indicated you were in depression then. There is a way out. Despite the side-effects, I seriously recommend taking Selective Seritonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). They will lift the fog.
Live is beatiful, and sometimes painful, but it shouldn't be the latter most of the time. You deserve better Becca, reach for some treatment.
Warmly,
Matthew in Toronto

Posted by: Matthew on December 15, 2003 01:36 AM

I asked someone that question whom I know that is very wise and you know what he said?
To live. that's all you just live and hopefully be a nicer person (I think you are from the last time I talked to you) than most of the people out there. Do what you can and hope you change something or someone. Have you seen Pay it foward? good movie but the ending is sad. Anyway I hope this actually answers that question. Please if you can write back.

Posted by: Jonathon Fujier on September 13, 2004 03:14 AM
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