Burning Things

And here is a list, a wonderful list, of the all-polluting, ever-noxious, addictive, and government subdized cancerizer, the cigar:

• cheroot Cut square at both ends
  
• madura Strong and dark
  
• panatela Long and slim
  
• perfecto Tapers at both ends
  
• stogie Long, slender and cheap
  

White Words

I've been compiling lexicons as an aid to the writing I am doing now. When I find myself getting a little short on synonyms, I can now flip open one of the pages I've written and pick a word. It was while compiling a list of synonyms for the word "white" that I came up with these selections:

The word Canada sounds similar to two words for white, candent (which refers specifically to metal heated to white hotness) and canescent (white or hoary like frost). When I discovered these words the other day, I thought to myself "Ah, now I know why it is called The Great White North!" But I was wrong. The name Canada has its origins in what I like to call a stupid white man story. European explorers arrived in the region, looked around, and pointing around them asked in their best French "What do you call this place?" The natives thought these madmen were pointing to their village.. "These are canata," they attempted to explain to the babbling arrivees. "Huts. Hovels." The explorers smiled, nodded, and wrote it down on the map.

Though the two words sound alike and have similar meanings, they have different origins. Candent comes from the same root as candle. Candent metals glow. Canescent comes from an entirely different root, the Latin word "canus" meaning white or hoary. Writers should pay attention to these different origins when employing them.

Another fancy word for white is cretaceous. Fans of natural history museums will readilly recognize this as name of the last period of the Mesozoic Era, before dinosaurs walked the earth. Cretaceous comes from creta meaning chalk. Fossils from this period were first described in the chalkfields of the South of England. I suspect this word would be very useful for those wanting to give a particularly delicate and ancient object it's own special feel.

Wine Bottles

Doubtless you have seen them arranged on the back shelves of cyan-flourescent lit bars or maybe being displayed in a restaurant along side a miniature oak cask and some artificial grapes. They command your attention because they are obviously not the ordinary variety of wine bottle that you pick up at the grocery store. They are special. And they have names:

• 1 bottle
  
• 2 bottles = 1 magnum
  
• 8 bottles = 1 Methusalah
  
• 21 bottles = 1 Jeroboam
  
• 62 bottles = 1 Salamazar
  
• 83 bottles= 1 Balthazar
  
• 104 bottles = 1 Nebuchadnezzar
  

One can imagine that the parties served by a case filled of Balthazars or Nebuchadnezzars would approach mythical proportions and feature plenty of interesting food like honey-basted dormice and hogs stuffed with live birds, per The Satyricon.