Pure Cattiness

The Ganeshas own three cats. This lifestyle has given us much exposure to the ways of felines and a need for a considerable vocabulary about the life and ways of our pets. Here is a list for true aliurophiles and the occasional aliurophobe:

• aliurophile - one who loves cats
  
• aliurophobe - one who fears/loathes cats
  
• calico - an orange, black and white cat (usually female)
  
• catling - a young cat, synonym for kitten
  
• clowder - a group of cats
  
• cluster - a group of cats
  
• cub - young of big cats
  
• feliform - catlike, cat-shaped
  
• feline - catlike
  
• flock - group of lions
  
• gib - a male cat (fixed)
  
• grimalkin - an elderly female cat
  
• kindle - a group of kittens
  
• kitten - a young cat
  
• leap - group of leopards
  
• leonine - lion like
  
• lynxine - lynx like
  
• molly - a female cat
  
• ocellate - having spots like an ocelot, namely eye-shaped
  
• pantherine - panther like
  
• pardine - leopard like, spotted like a leopard
  
• pride - group of lions
  
• queen - a female cat, especially a pedigreed one bearing kittens
  
• she-cat - a female cat
  
• tabby - a striped cat, sometimes with highlights. Can be orange or gray.
  
• tigrine - tiger like
  
• tom - a male cat (unfixed)
  
• tortoiseshell - an orange and black cat (usually female)
  
• troop - group of lions
  

Euphemism's Opposite

We all know what a euphemism is, particularly if we've read Jessica Mitford's The American Way of Death. The "memorial industry" has developed many references for the word "corpse" including "the dearly departed", "the late Mr. Jones", "the loved one", etc. They call themselves "grief counselors" to diffuse the fact that they are in the business of talking people into buying expensive coffins and grave sites.

Every word like this needs an antonym. The opposite of a euphemism is a cacaphemism. You have doubtless used cacaphemisms in your life before, you dirty little piece of shit you. (Just kidding for the sake of illustration there!) What about that crap they serve in the corporate dining room? Or how about that tin can that you drive? Or that dog you date? Cacaphemism is a term that deserves mention in our language because it identifies a style of metaphor that is quite common. Use it, but please, don't say this column is garbage, OK? Show a little appreciation!